For What It's Worth
I can’t say I was ever bullied in school, but I never considered myself one of the “in crowd.” Being a youngster living on a farm meant riding a bus each school morning. Even though I was only five miles away from school and one of the last ones picked up in the morning, the short time spent enclosed inside a big, yellow school bus with other kids did give some the chance to do some teasing and picking on me.
Again, I never considered it “bullying,” but some levels of the verbal assault did reach the point where riding into town with my dad on a cold Minnesota morning eventually became a favorable option. It also allowed Dad and me to have some bonding time together while listening to Paul Harvey News on the radio.
Bullying today can take several forms. Back in my day, which you know as ancient times, bullying involved the excessive and consistent targeting of one person by another person, or group. It was typically done on the playground or in the neighborhood. Today, it can involve that and more. Youngsters can be targeted if others perceive them as living on the wrong side of town, if they don’t look right, or wear the wrong kind of clothes.
An area not available until the Internet came about was cyberbullying and it’s become more prevalent today. You can easily get on your computer and have your friends join in to maliciously berate your victim and attack their character to the point of it becoming felonious criminal activity.
That was among the points being brought out during a seminar by the Holly Springs Police Department and Public Relations Officer Michael Bingham on Tuesday, May 12. The seminar was held at the Holly Springs Intermediate School gymnasium and done in conjunction with Holly Springs School District’’s Family and Community Engagement.
Bingham told me last week the police department is involved because they know the school year is ending but the bullying doesn’t take a summer vacation. With the school year winding down and summer vacation looming, the department recognized a dangerous pattern: grievances formed in the classroom often boil over into the summer heat.
“We just don’t want it to stem over from school into the summer,” Bingham warned during the seminar. “Summer time is coming... it can lead to more problems, more fights, and even to more gunfire. We don’t want to lose any more kids because of kids being bullied at school.”
While all areas of bullying should be seriously considered, online harassment crosses a legal line. What was once considered just “kids being kids” is now a matter of criminal record. If it’s bad enough, we can be talking about a felony conviction and jail time, depending on the severity and nature of the comments. When online “trash-talking” leads to physical retaliation, fights, stabbings and shootings can result.
While the police department can assist in mediation when called upon, it’s when the thin line is crossed into physical assault that appearances in youth court result.
Bingham stressed that it is important for parents to know their children, looking for the “silent signs” of a child in distress, who might become a victim of bullying. That can mean becoming withdrawn, not eating, and not being as cheerful as before. Youngsters who may be the bully show cases of increased aggression, “talking back” to parents or others, and having a constant desire to fight.
The Holly Springs Police Department offers a mentoring program that meets one Saturday a month. This initiative provides a safe space for kids to talk through their problems and, crucially, understand the “end of the road” if their behavior doesn’t change.
“Learn your kids,” Bingham said. “Learn your kids’ friends. If you can do that, I think there will be a better relationship with the child.”
As the community moves into the summer months, the message is clear: Bullying is not a rite of passage; it is a precursor to tragedy. And in Holly Springs, the police are no longer waiting for the first punch to be thrown or the first post to be made to intervene.
And, that’s what I have for now... for what it’s worth.
Bob Bakken is Editor of The South Reporter.