Close to Nowhere
Yes! Well, actually no. They don’t have teeth. They can peck you to pieces though!
Our duck/dog Fido, who has always been as friendly as a dog, wags his tail feathers and loves to be petted. Maybe I should say “loved” to be petted.
We had a great big white duck a couple years ago. He was a really ugly, mean duck. He didn’t hunt you down though. You had to get in his way. Eventually, he passed on.
Daughter Dana has lots of ducks and chickens. She has probably 10 different breeds. (Is that what you say for ducks? I can’t think of another word.)
Ducks in a group are called — in the water — bunch, paddling or raft. I like raft. Flying, they’re called a skein, string or team. Dana’s ducks don’t fly. I have no idea why. I think Fido doesn’t fly because he is a very fat duck. Flying or on water you can call a bunch of ducks a plump.
Fido is a drake. We have a plump of female ducks, who are called — wait for it — ducks. You can call them hens, but I always think of chickens as hens.
I Googled ducks this morning to see about aggressive ducks. One article said, “Ducks have got to be the world’s least aggressive species. They simply have no meanness in them.”
I beg to differ. We had one big, mean, white duck. And then we have Fido. Fido was the sweetest duck. He’d follow me in the house to be petted. He loved people and to be petted.
Several days ago, I was at home and left to run some errands. Fido came up to say bye and get a pat. When I got home, he came back to say hello and get some more pats.
Several hours later, I went outside to the grass and poured out some soured milk. Fido came up quacking, no surprise, and then — he bit me. Repeatedly. He was pecking all over my legs. I was in shock. Fido didn’t do that!
Apparently, for some unknown reason, he decided in that couple of hours I was gone, that he was a big, bad duck.
Now, he attacks everybody. Even Dana and Remy.
The only duck we’ve ever cooked and eaten was one that the late, much loved, Claude Vinson brought me one Christmas. Roasted duck is really good.
Maybe I need to stand around outside and talk about how good roasted duck tastes.
Ducks are supposed to be really smart. I wonder, will Fido take the hint?