Close to Nowhere

My youngest brother Danny is very into technology. He likes gadgets much better than even I do.

So now, he’s into this competition, in his head, with his gadgets as opposed to my gadgets.

My smart phone is much smarter than his. My Siri actually does what I ask of him. I’ve changed the voice to an Australian guy and he sounds like the character Kevin from the new Ghostbuster movie. I wish I could change the name from Siri to Kevin, but I’m not as smart as my phone.

We were talking about our car computers also. Mine was driving me crazy. Recently, while I’m driving, this light will beep on and words come up on my dashboard — which would be fine if I had a clue as to what my car was telling me.

Danny and I researched the Internet. Grandson-in-law Tim, Danny and I all read the many books that came with the car telling you how to work it. We couldn’t find it anywhere.

The light always beeps on when I’m in traffic. I can’t just stop to read what my car is saying. There’s always a little gear looking insignia and words of obvious importance.

Fortunately for my sanity, it finally beeped on while I was on my road, Hwy. 310. No traffic! I stopped in the middle of the road so I could read it before it beeped off.

“Warning! Low Outside Temperature!”

I was amazed. I had no idea it was cold outside. I’m not frozen solid. The thermometer in my car blinks when the outside temperature is below freezing. The stupid thing has been steady blinking for weeks now.

I guess it was just making sure that even though I’m not going to thaw out until mid-May, that I knew it was very, very cold outside.

Telling my brother I’d discovered what it was saying, he started laughing.

He has a new-to-him BMW. Its computer is worse than mine!

I like to drive past gas stations until I barely have fumes in the tank. When Danny’s car tells him he needs gas, if he doesn’t stop and get it, the car shuts down. Does the same thing when he needs an oil change.

I’m glad my car just blinks and beeps when it’s cold. It could refuse to leave the house.