Close to Nowhere

I bet we all have exciting snow stories to tell. With the snow and ice reported to be anywhere from 8 to 15 inches, it’s sure been a fun week.

Yeah, right!

Picture me laughing hysterically. I imagine a lot of us are hysterical right now.

Although, by the time you’re reading this, it will have been sunny and well above freezing for several days and we will have thawed out some, although my feet will be cold until roughly late April or May

I know the roads were horrible everywhere. High way 310 was no exception. My road is twisty and hilly and very, very shady – which makes it one of the last roads to thaw and be driveable.

So, for someone who has to drive, it’s a quandary. Do I go to dialysis in Oxford in 8-10 inches of snow and ice and die, or do I stay home and die? It’s a tough question, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one with the problem.

I hope your problem was solved as well as mine. I missed Monday and Wednesday dialysis, talking to the nurses there every day. By Thursday, I didn’t feel quite as well as I could. My granddaughter and her husband, Remy and Mitch, live in Oxford and had said they would come take me Friday.

I called the Lafayette County sheriff’s office Friday morning to ask how the roads were. The very nice dispatcher, after I’d explained my problem, including that I lived in Marshall County, asked me to hold on a minute.

After several minutes she came back on the line with a solution. There was a deputy in Harmontown, which is just 15-20 minutes down 310 from my house and he was going to come pick me up and take me to Highway 7 (about three miles from my house) to meet another deputy who was going to take me on to dialysis. My first deputy needed to stay around the area, as he was the only one patrolling there, so he didn’t need to go all the way in to Oxford.

Within 15-20 minutes, Deputy Jonathon Finger baum was at the door. He came in, asked what I needed out of my car, got it all out, put it in his car and then escorted me very carefully through the snow and ice to his warm car

He drives a Dodge Durango, all-wheel-drive and he loves it. He drove carefully down the solid sheet of ice that covered 310 without sliding one time. I was totally impressed that he was even able to get out of my uphill driveway. Usually, that’s not possible in any depth of snow and ice.

At Highway 7, we were met by Deputy Kayla Shoffner. She also has a Durango and she also loves it. We didn’t slide a single time on the mostly ice, snow and slush that covered 7.

After dialysis, Deputy Doug (he didn’t tell me his last name) picked me up and brought me safely home. He was driving a Dodge Ram. I neglected to ask if it had a hemi engine. I have always lusted after a Dodge Ram with a hemi.

If was kind of funny getting into the Ram. It was lifted higher and my short, wobbly legs did not want to jump up in there. I finally got in without embarrassing myself too much and off we went. He drove me all the way home with nary a slip or slide. He loves his four-wheel drive truck.

Fortunately, I’ve never been in a police car of any kind. It was so wild! And I did get to ride in the front seat!

All three of those deputies assured me repeatedly that they were happy to give me a ride, that helping folks out was their job.

I found out later that almost everyone who had made it to dialysis the entire week had been brought there by the sheriff’s department.

I’d been scared – by the thought of not going to dialysis and the thought of having to go in the extremely hazardous road conditions.

My three deputies couldn’t have been nicer or more considerate. They all made me feel like an honored guest. They told me about their jobs and pets, dogs and horses, and Kayla has a 2-year-old in addition to a couple of dogs.

It was funny when she told me that her husband had driven her to work that morning.

By Friday morning, I was really feeling the effects of not going to dialysis. By Friday night, I was breathing comfortably again.

I’m still not back to normal, but thanks to the kindness of the dispatcher and those three deputies, I’m not in the hospital or dead.

We all owe our deputies, in Marshall and Lafayette counties, a great deal. They work hard for us and need our respect and support.

And, my three deputies especially, have my undying gratitude!

Linda Jones of Laws Hill is a former staff writer for The South Reporter. She is retired but continues her weekly column.