Close to Nowhere

Dear Santa, How have you been? How are Mrs. Claus and all the elves? I hope the reindeer are doing OK and are ready to fly soon.

For Christmas this year, I want a Barbie doll. I always want a Barbie doll. I love Barbies.

I really want a Hoverboard too. I'm pretty sure that's the coolest thing ever. And if I get one, y'all can all come visit me in the rehab facility after I fall off and break every bone in my body.

Santa, do you remember when we lived in Memphis, Tenn. and the little 12-year-old boy next door to us got a wonderful new skateboard for Christmas? He zoomed all up and down our street and I was so jealous.

The day I ran into him at the mailbox and he stopped to say hello will never be forgotten. I said "that looks so easy and fun." (I was in my mid-20s and was still really stupid.) He said, "wanna give it a try?"

I said, "Sure!

I put one foot on the skateboard, one foot on the sidewalk and pushed off, just like my young friend said.

It didn't end pretty. In fact, I ended up flat on my back on the sidewalk.

After hobbling back in the house (Kris was still a baby and fortunately, was asleep at the moment), I collapsed into a chair.

By the time I got up, about an hour later, I couldn't move. Literally. I had to call my inlaws. They came and my mother-in-law stayed with Kris and Dana, while my sainted father-in-law took me to the emergency room.

It was several weeks before I could turn my head or move my right arm without crying.

Do you remember that Santa? I bet that's the biggest reason I don't find a Hoverboard under my Christmas tree.

Oh well, as long as I get a Barbie and some new clothes and some new shoes and lots of toys, I'll be happy. Oh, and I want $8,985,000.00 also.

Kris and Dana have been good, so bring them something also.

Love,
Bumpy

P.S. A little peace on earth and for the vaccine to work as well as it's supposed to would be wonderful also.

Merry Christmas!