Close to Nowhere

I’m too old for this

I spent Sunday afternoon slumped in the glider-rocker chair in my living room playing The Legend of Zelda on my new Nintendo NES. Monday I could barely hobble.

Apparently if you sit slumped for a while and cough and strain muscles that are in a weird position, the muscles seize up.

I had a good excuse. I was babysitting Shepard, my brand-new great-grandson. He’s three months old now, so he’s practically grown, but I’m still in total awe of him.

Mom, oldest granddaught-er Merideth, and dad, new grandson-in-law Tim, were out working in my yard, so I was happy to sit inside and play with the baby.

Shepard loves Zelda. He will lie on my round chair and squeal and wiggle and laugh at the bright colors, the music and his great-grandmother moaning and cursing.

I am cleaning up my mildly dirty mouth. I don’t want Shepard’s first words to be potty words.

We spent the entire afternoon in the living room. Shepard (never Shep) rotated between my round chair, which he loves, and his little rocking cradle, which he loves, and his new little bouncy walker chair, which he loves.

I didn’t rotate. I stayed slumped (which is extremely comfortable in the glider chair). And I coughed all afternoon -- which pulls muscles that really don’t want to be pulled that hard.

Shepard is positive that I cough for his enjoyment. If I’m holding him and cough, he just laughs. It’s a fun ride!

All my inside animals are a little puzzled by Shepard. Lana, the huge black dog that belongs to his parents, loves him fanatically. She’s always loved kids and I think she thinks Mere and Tim brought this little human home just for her.

Dottie, the Great Dane that lives with me, is very regal and disdainful. Shepard is simply not there in her eyes. She totally ignores him.

Mr. Bean and Foxie think they might want to be friends but they need him to stop being petted by me so much. Foxie, the friendliest one I have, has finally managed to make friends with Felix, my black cat, and is now working on Shepard. Mr. Bean is siding with Dottie and just ignoring him so far.

Felix is frantic. If he’s asleep on the round chair (his favorite spot) and I lay the baby there and the baby starts crying, Felix is off like a shot.

And I’m still coughing... and hobbling.

Holly Springs South Reporter

P.O. Box 278
Holly Springs, MS 38635
PH: (662) 252-4261
FAX: (662) 252-3388
www.southreporter.com

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