Close to Nowhere

• Actually, our roosters aren’t burned. Daughter Dana and adopted granddaughter Grace would be mortified.

They are actually the ones raising the roosters and chickens with a very little help from granddaughter Remy.

Many a dinner table conversation has many details of the life and death of the roosters. The hens lay eggs (all different colors), so they are safe. But the roosters are meant to be eaten.

For years, Dana has talked about eating her chickens but it’s hard to eat something you’ve named and gotten attached to.

But the roosters are another matter. And some of them are named anyway.

At present I think at least three roosters have been beheaded — maybe more. One weekend grandson-in-law Tim’s brother Cooper (there are seven Chalk brothers) was here. Cooper is a city boy, although he’s learning to love the country. He did not love having two beheaded roosters thrust into his hands to be held until whatever needed to be done to them was finished.

Dana and Grace have cooked the roosters several different ways I think. I know Dana has cooked broth and rendered fat and good stuff like that. She loves to cook with rendered fat. Schmaltz, the Jewish word for rendered fat, makes a wonderful flavor in just about anything. However, it is not a healthy treat. Pure fat rarely is.

Just a note here — I’ve not eaten any of the freshly killed roosters. I like to hear them crow, usually beginning around 4 or 4:30 a.m. And I’ve gotten attached to the one they call Meany Pants. I just can’t eat their roosters. I need mine wrapped in plastic!

• And apparently, when I do cook my plastic wrapped chickens, I need to stop burning them. I’ve heard on the news the past few weeks that burned food causes cancer.

Everyone that’s ever eaten at my house should have it by now. I frequently forget I’m cooking and dinner is a little on the black side.

Fortunately I don’t make toast often. That seems to be the worst offender. Burned toast and burned roasted potatoes cause lots of really long word problems.

“These include heterocyclic amines and so-called polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs), which can lead to fried or smoked foods posing a health risk.”

Don’t come to my house to eat. Tim warns all his brothers not to scoop from the bottom of my pots.