Thursday, October 24, 2013
The Preacher’s Corner
Mississippi not No. 1 for bugs
I know one thing Mississippi will never be ranked No. 1 for, and that is bugs. When I lived in Chicago, one of our church members was a woman named Rhonda, who worked for a big ad agency that had the account for Raid Bug Spray. Rhonda was in charge of this account, and she told me that they spent the biggest part of their budget in Florida. The fact that we are not No. 1 for bugs should come as a relief to those who are concerned about Mississippi being at the top or bottom of lists for bad and good things.
While in another city, I passed a big, white panel truck with the name Bug Doctor, or something like it painted on the side. It made me think how we sometimes use words to mean the very opposite of their dictionary definition. I have no quarrel with this particular business operator; it is just a discussion of semantics. But I seriously doubt he is in business to carry out the promises of the Hippocratic Oath! While the name is amusing, it must be very hard for people learning to speak English.
I have a friend who is so adamant on this subject, he will not buy any product that merely “controls” bugs—he wants nothing short of a product that will “exterminate.”
I know a lady in the Mississippi Delta who hired a pest control man to spray her house, and when he called to see how things were going, she told him she was still overrun. “Didn’t I kill your roaches?” he asked. “Yes,” she said, “But a million more have come to the funeral.”
One person I know maintains that fresh paint is the best way to run off bugs and rodents. I dislike painting enough, I think, that I would put up with the bugs.
My friend who won’t buy any bug spray product that just says “control” tells how his wife went to pull some clothes out of the dryer and found a possum had sneaked in and was sleeping among the warm clothing in the dryer. This family leaves the garage door open for the cats to go in and out, and they use their dryer as a sort of storage place for their laundry, just pulling items out as needed, with the door left open. It seemed like a perfect place for Mrs. Opossum to take a nap.
Resisting the initial urge to shoo Ophelia out, my friend called Animal Control. They came over right away, and found the creature still cozy asleep. The Animal Control guy asked if my friend wanted to keep it as a pet. She demurred, saying they already had two cats. So they were able to capture the creature with no trouble, and they took it away in a proper container.
“By the way, lady,” one of the Animal Control guys said, pointing to the dryer, as they were leaving, “If I were you, I think I would re-wash those clothes!”
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