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The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter Changing order of service can be confusing Things that happen in church are a source of endless amazement to preachers. Some of them can be told. Down
in the Mississippi Delta at a church I know, a new preacher arrived and
decided right off to do something about the longstanding custom of the
deacons going out during the sermon to count the collection. The
practice had begun locally during the Great Depression after one of the
men had secretly borrowed a few dollars from the Lord to buy milk for
his babies. Conscience-tormented he soon confessed, and it was then
decided to alleviate the temptation by having the men count the money
as a group, and to do this right away, as soon as the offering was
received. To avoid delaying the womenfolk and the all-important Sunday
dinner. The ritual was carried out in an anteroom off the sanctuary
during the sermon. To keep the men in church for
the sermon (all the deacons were men in those days), the new preacher
decided to put the collection, choir anthem, and the long prayer after
the sermon. To sweeten the arrangement, he told members that this way
they could slip prayer requests into the offering plates and he would
remember these concerns individually as he phrased the morning prayers. Things
went well the first week, except that when the minister announced the
hymn after his sermon, the four deacons on the back row figured that
church was over and left for home, so that there was nobody in place to
receive the offering. Several other members also
thought the show was finished and made for the door. A makeshift
ushering crew had to be recruited hastily. The treasurer reported that
the collection was off by a few dollars, owing to these premature
departures. The second week, the new order of
service was more carefully explained. The preacher told everyone that
this was the way John Calvin, as well as the early Christians had
conducted their services. These were Presbyterians, of course, so the
invocation of John Calvin was calculated to settle the issue (a device
I have found to be utterly ineffective whenever I have tried it.) These
deacons were duly impressed with the history lesson. Therefore, as the
preacher was giving a properly Presbyterian-length exposition, the
deacons got up from their places on the rear pews and went out to
polish up the plates for the upcoming collection. That
didn’t take long, so they went across the street to the Dairy Queen for
a little refreshment, thinking they’d have plenty of time for a cup of
coffee before the homily was completed. Well, the sermon ended rather
quickly, and for the second week, there were no deacons in place to
receive the offering. Again, a makeshift crew was assembled. After
the third week, things got straightened out reasonably well, so the new
minister thought, except that at the prayer time after offering, there
came a slip from one of the deacons, asking the Good Lord to put the
collection back to the place in the service where it was supposed to be.
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