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The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter I have devoted myself to holding onto my wallet Men’s
wallets and ladies’ purses are among our most personal possessions. Of
all the things that are ours, these are among the items we keep closest
to us. I sense instantly if my billfold is not in my back pocket. It is
perhaps the reason we feel so violated when we become the victim of a
pick-pocket or purse snatcher. One of the great
imponderables to me, is that all this having been said, women carry all
their possessions in purses, whereas men use wallets. A purse has to be
remembered. A wallet in the pocket is always there for the ride. Why
women add this extra possession to keep up with is one of the great
divisions between the sexes. As in so many other ways, it is just less
trouble to be a man. This reminds me of an
incident in my college days, when the TV was advertising those large
handbags with special compartments for every conceivable item. A friend
suggested to the ladies watching the commercial with us that this would
be perfect for them. “What? Lug that big thing around? You wouldn’t catch us dead with one of those purses!” OK. Good idea gone wrong! I thought it was a practical suggestion. Thirty years later, they are advertising similar purses again. I wonder if my friends would have the same reaction. The
reason for writing today is to recall the one and only time I ever lost
my wallet for an extended period. Yes, it has been lost temporarily,
having gone through the washing machine a couple of times. But then I
got it back quickly and had clean money to go with it. The
time I lost my wallet for an extended period was the morning after a
certain New Year’s Eve party I attended. Now, before you let your
imagination run wild, please be assured it was hosted by members of my
church, and was an entirely sedate, though enjoyable, occasion. I was
home by midnight. I am sure I was. The next
morning I could not find my billfold. I retraced my steps. I looked in
my car. I phoned my hosts from the night before. Nothing turned up. Usually
when I mislay something it turns up in a few hours, if not a day or
two. This morning, for example, the dust jacket for a book I had been
reading turned up. It was under another book. I had removed it so that
it would not become crinkled while I was reading. I knew it would
re-appear. But my wallet did not surface. So,
after a few days, I went down to Linwood’s and purchased a new one and
then went through that awful dance of re-applying for my credit cards,
driver’s license, Social Security card, and all the other things you
have to do when your wallet or purse goes missing. Fortunately, I knew
there had not been much cash in my billfold. But you do wonder who now
has your personal information, and what might come to haunt you on down
the road. That ended the matter for about a year
or more. Then, one day I was getting dressed, and I put on a certain
pair of brown trousers. They were too tight! Then it came to me. There
was something in the back pocket! Yes, it was my lost wallet. I had put
on those same slacks the night of the New Year’s Party, and they had
been too tight then, too. I had changed pants, put the first pair back
on the hanger and into the closet, and forgotten to transfer my
billfold. That little step had been forgotten in all my retracing of
steps! This brings up another of life’s
imponderables. You expect new clothes to shrink a bit when they are
washed or go to the cleaners. But mine always shrink horizontally, not
vertically. I find that the cloth in waists is much more prone to draw
in than the cloth around the cuffs. Manufacturers should take note and
adjust for this situation. As in so many cases, I
take comfort in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus said, “Lay not up for
yourselves treasures on Earth where moth and rust corrupt, and thieves
break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven,
where moth and rust do not corrupt, and thieves do not break in and
steal.” Not only will we have no crime, but I hope our minds will be
perfected so that we can keep up with our stuff. It is a joy to which I
look forward. Meanwhile, I have devoted myself to holding onto my
wallet, and I took those pants to the Goodwill.
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