Thursday, October 4, 2012
Close to Nowhere
Like a chicken with his head cut off...
We’re all familar with blonde jokes. I am especially fond of them, as I have a blonde daughter and a blonde granddaughter.
We won’t talk about the blonde daughter today, because the blonde granddaughter has topped it all.
A few weeks ago, she and her mom were discussing chickens. We all discuss chickens endlessly, as we love them.
Mom thought our new baby chickens were growing throat tumors. Mere said something like, “Oh Mom, that’s just their gullets.” Mom Googled it and sure enough, chickens have gullets.
So, Thursday, while we were treating Trey to birthday pizza at Victor’s, Mom and Mere (remember, they’re both blondes) were discussing something and the talk turned to chickens with their heads cut off.
Mere said, “Yes, chickens can live with their heads cut off.” Mom started to say something sarcastic and bit it off, laughing and Googling on her phone, so she could prove to Mere that chickens could not live with their heads cut off.
Turns out, chickens can live with their heads cut off.
Let me introduce you to “Mike the Headless Chicken” or “Miracle Mike,” as he is sometimes called. According to Wikipedia...
“On September 10, 1945, farmer Lloyd Olsen of Fruita, Colorado, United States, had his mother-in-law around for supper and was sent out to the yard by his wife to bring back a chicken. Olsen chose a five-and-a-half-month-old cockerel named Mike. The axe missed the jugular vein, leaving one ear and most of the brain stem intact.
“Despite Olsen’s botched handiwork, Mike was still able to balance on a perch and walk clumsily; he even attempted to preen and crow, although he could do neither. After the bird did not die, a surprised Mr. Olsen decided to continue to care permanently for Mike, feeding him a mixture of milk and water via an eyedropper; he was also fed small grains of corn.
“When used to his new and unusual center of mass, Mike could easily get himself to the highest perches without falling. His crowing, though, was less impressive and consisted of a gurgling sound made in his throat, leaving him unable to crow at dawn. Mike also spent his time preening and attempting to peck for food with his neck.”
Need I say more...
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