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The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter Auntie Fran’s spaghetti and high company A
friend of mine is getting ready for high company. I was delighted to
hear this old Southern expression once again, for it used to be heard
in my family all the time. High company for my
grandmother was what high mass is to a priest. It was the sort of
phrase that struck fear in young and old alike. For me, it meant there
would be no spreading my toys out all over the living room, and for the
adults it implied lots of cleaning, cooking, and sewing just to get
ready. My friend was having a new floor put
in—just the sort of thing we used to do in our family when high company
was about to descend. High company in our family
came in several forms. It might be a one-time dinner, like the time my
parents had my first-grade teacher and her husband over, just to be
sure I got all the attention they thought I deserved in those days of
huge classes—we had at least thirty kids in our room, and I have a
photo to prove it! There were also the days the
ladies’ circle from the church was invited in, or one of my
grandmother’s card parties took place. The groups were similar. Women
dressed up for occasions then, and there was lots of talking, eating,
and general conviviality—and little boys were to make themselves
scarce. One could not even take refuge in the bedroom, for there was no
TV there in those days, and the room was filled with coats. Mother
and Daddy both worked and didn’t have as much time to entertain, but
another form of high company that I enjoyed more, even though it took
longer was the annual visits of our several sets of relatives and kin. There
were my Memphis grandparents (daddy’s parents), and his three sisters
with whom they lived, all in one big house on Linden Avenue. There were
mother’s people — Aunt Marguerite and Uncle Ernest all the way from
South Carolina, Uncle Bill and Auntie Fran from Illinois, and then
there were my aunt, uncle, and cousin from Louise, Mississippi — the
closest in proximity, and so familiar and easy-going we did not treat
them like high company. In fact, they were prone to drop in, and more
than willing to eat sandwiches made from whatever we’d had for Sunday
dinner. My female relatives were all like Martha
in the Mary and Martha story of the Bible — bustling around worried
that everything be just perfect. Before anybody could come to see us,
the floors had to be vacuumed, the kitchen mopped and waxed, the
bathrooms scrubbed, all the furniture dusted, beds changed, and closets
rearranged for their hanging clothes. It took a lot, and I was mostly
in the way. I was usually ejected from my bedroom. There
was a sense of anxiety about the whole business that implied that an
inspection committee was coming to pass judgment, which I could never
understand because I thought these were the people who loved us most. Later
I understood more about a woman’s pride and the desire to do one’s very
best for others. Still, when I visit friends who have junk piled to the
ceiling all over their houses, but who sing out, “Come right on in,”
when I hit the door, I feel a wonderful sense, not only of welcome but
of relief! There is something to be said for
the more casual lifestyle of our modern existence. I don’t like to
think I have to be fixed up for, and I might not go if I thought it
meant putting people to a lot of trouble. The one
person in our family for whom you could be both high company and just
folks was my Auntie Fran in Illinois. She was completely at ease in her
entertaining. The food was wonderful and the atmosphere homey and
relaxed. She could give big parties for the university people with whom
Uncle Bill worked, and family members were put right to work in the
kitchen, sharing the tasks at hand while visiting. Once
Auntie Fran had made a huge tray of spaghetti for a supper that we’d
planned to attend. I never see spaghetti at a church supper that I do
not think affectionately of this. A terrible
storm caused the church supper to be cancelled, so my grandmother,
cousin, and I joined Uncle Bill in eating spaghetti doctored up in half
a dozen different ways, for Auntie Fran was not going to waste it. I
don’t think she had a deep freeze. We thought
the whole thing was hilarious! We even had a spaghetti picnic at a
nearby state park that preserves a log cabin where Abraham Lincoln’s
parents lived in their old age. Why am I so
interested in Abraham Lincoln? It may be because of Auntie Fran and her
spaghetti, and the delightful home life she maintained, into which I
was made to feel so welcome. That was high company at its very best! |