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The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter We do not say our prayers alone... One
Sunday as I arrived early and placed my key in the church door, I
noticed a spider had made her web all over the doorknob and lock. This
is never a good sign if you want to advertise an active church! But it
is the truth, and I stopped to observe the spider which was lurking in
the shadows, waiting for her prey. She was a wolf spider—absolutely
harmless, but ferocious in appearance. One often sees them in crevices
in brickwork or door facings. Of course, when my key touched the lock,
the spider scurried to a safe hideaway. Another
Sunday, I was reading the Scripture lesson, and when I turned the page
in the big Bible, one of these wolf spiders was dislodged from his
hiding place, and came scurrying toward the sleeve of my robe. Not
wishing to share my clothing with any member of the arachnid family, I
took my bulletin and with a grand, sweeping gesture, scooped the
wayward creature off the page and sent it flying to the floor below. I
decided it would be best not to mention the creature to the
congregation, who as far as I know, thought the gesture was an attempt
to add drama to the lesson. We love to sing “All
things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things
wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.” Our old church has a
good many creatures living within its walls. I told our housekeeper
recently it would be a good time to sweep out the gallery, as we were
in that brief, cooler season between the bees and the wasps. The latter
come inside seeking shelter for the winter and there is always hilarity
as members take a whack at them with their hymnals. We
have tried many times to bee- and wasp-proof the building. How many new
deacons in charge of the property have vowed to accomplish the deed?
But I always tell them that the bees were there before we were born and
will be there after we are gone. They may be the best Presbyteri-ans of
all. One Sunday, tidying up after church, I found
a large pile of pecan hulls in the choir loft. Thinking it very much
out of character that our consecrated and refined church organist, Mrs.
Tate, would have sat there during my sermon shucking pecans, I
investigated further and found that a squirrel was inhabiting the
choir. A little patch and Mr. Squirrel’s entry to the singers’ loft was
denied. But there are larger beasts who call our
church home. On one occasion Dr. J.A. Hale had been commissioned to buy
a pair of antique lamps for the upper foyer, to be placed as a
memorial. He brought a fine pair from New Orleans and to me they looked
very nice in the setting for which they were intended. Late
on Saturday night, however, it occurred to me that it would be best to
show them privately to the family for whom they were being purchased,
before everyone added their two cents to the equation. So I walked over
to the church, and with a lamp in each hand, walked across the outdoor
breezeway to the Sunday School building to put them in a closet. It was
at this moment that the church possum (I called her Ophelia) decided to
run across my feet! It startled me so that I nearly dropped those two
antique lamps! But I recovered my composure and you can see them today,
beautiful and unharmed in the upper foyer of our church. There
is one more story to relate before I can close out this essay on church
beasts. When I lived in Bob Lomenick’s apartment over Tyson’s, I awoke
one February night to realize that I had forgotten to turn on the heat
for the Sunday service the next morning. Unless it were turned on, the
building would not be sufficiently warm to have divine service. So
there was nothing to do but haul myself out of my warm little bed and
go over to the church. I am so familiar with our
old church that I can walk through the building in the dark. So, not
wanting to wake myself up more than I had to, I picked my way in
complete darkness through the fellowship hall and up the circular
stairs that lead to the sanctuary, where the thermostat is located.
(Someday archaeologists will wonder what liturgical role the thermostat
played in religion, for every church has one, and the adjustment of the
thermostat is as invariably a part of each service as the singing of
the doxology or the collecting of the collection.) Anyway,
as I crept up those stairs in the cold and dark, I suddenly found
myself “nose to nose” with another creature, distinctly not human, who
by chance happened to be making its descent! I have no idea what it
was! But I scared it as much as it scared me! We both wheeled around
and ran in opposite directions. But I could hear its claws skittering
across the sanctuary’s hardwood floor. After I turned on the lights and
initiated a search, I concluded it must have been a squirrel, but in
the dark of 3 a.m., it could have been a grizzly bear! I
decided, once again, that it might be better not to mention the
incident to the assembled congregation. But mark you, in the Kirk of
Holly Springs, we do not say our prayers alone.
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