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Wyatt’s World
By Wyatt Emmerich We have nothing to fear...but the media I
was sitting on my screened porch reading the Clarion-Ledger when my eye
caught a tiny article on the bottom of page 6B. “NOAA says Gulf seafood
tested so far is safe to eat.” The Associated
Press article stated, “To date roughly 400 samples of commonly consumed
species caught mostly in the open waters - and some from closed areas -
have been chemically tested by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric
Administration. Officials say none so far has shown concerning levels
of contaminants. Each sample represents multiple fish of the same
species.” Well that’s darn good news. Too bad it
was buried in the bowels of the B section. Meanwhile, the federal
government has shut down one-third of the Gulf fishing areas just to be
safe. Consumers are so scared of tainted fish, many of our great local
fresh Gulf fish restaurants are struggling to stay open. Last
month I got sick (not literally) of fresh Gulf seafood because it was
so available, but consumers were still scared to eat it. It was
delicious! That was before the feds shut down fishing. What’s the
saying? I’m from the government and I’m here to help you. I
do give the Clarion-Ledger credit. In Sunday’s paper the headline was
“Coast tourists still frightened away.” It was about how the beach is
fine but people are scared. The paper offers some
interesting facts: 120 boats in Pass Christian have hauled in 1,050
pounds of oil. That comes to about nine pounds of oil per boat.
Figuring the boats have been working for a couple of months, that’s a
few ounces of oil a day. Another fact from the
article: So far, there have been three oiled dead birds. Gosh, I bet
those three dead birds had their images reproduced a billion
(literally) times. The most important statistic:
Zero beaches closed. Yet the damage to tourism has been immense. Our
beaches and hotels are empty. This will have a huge effect on tax
collections and our state budget. Local school budgets will be cut.
Teachers will lose jobs. As I have written
before, the media has hyped the oil spill. The media hypes everything.
That’s what they do. I stand by my prediction. This time next year, the
oil spill will be ancient history. Now I admit I
am an incorrigible optimist and some environmentalists are issuing dire
predictions. It will certainly not be the first time environmentalists
have exaggerated. Their job is to keep the environment pristine.
They’re just doing their jobs. Meanwhile, the
fact that no levels of toxicity have been found, the U.S. Fish and
Wildlife Service is embarking on an unprecedented plan to relocate
50,000 turtle eggs from the Gulf Coast to the Atlantic coast. I’m
not sure how many turtles, if any, will be killed by the oil spill, but
moving 50,000 eggs will do huge damage to the Gulf turtle population. No
doubt, in a few years the wildlife service will blame a sudden drop in
the Gulf turtle population on the oil spill. As a side effect, the
action will probably create a turtle overpopulation problem on the
Atlantic coast. Thanks for the help, feds. I have
asked all my friends who have returned from a beach vacation the same
question: Did you see oil? The answer from at least a dozen different
people has been the same. “No. The beach was fine.” Hotels on the coast
are posting daily YouTube videos of their beaches, trying to show
customers that the beach is fine and the oil spill is no reason to
cancel the traditional beach vacation. I have
another theory. Parents are using the oil spill to get out of the
seven-hour drive to the beach where their children will then spend huge
amounts of money having fun while they serve as tour guide and
chauffeur. Guilty! Clarion-Ledger editorial
writer, David Hampton wrote in his column the beach was “clean and
beautiful.” Yet he said his vacation was marred by “wondering if the
pelican flying by would be covered with oil tomorrow as he dove for
fish.” So it’s the thought of oil, not the oil
itself, that’s the problem. This dovetails nicely with my theory that
the publicity caused more damage than the oil itself.
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