| Close to Nowhere By Linda Jones If my house burned down... I apparently was born what one of the elderly ladies in my church called a “crepehanger.” Bettye
(she added the “e” herself as she felt plain ole Betty was too plain)
Sloan was one of those elderly women that I hope I can be. A tireless
worker in our church and for the entire community, she was devoted to
her family, both blood and just because she loved you. She was also a “crepehanger,” as was Inez, my granddaughters’ great-grandmother on their dad’s side of the family. Inez and Bettye would have gotten along like a house afire! The three of us would have made quite a combination -- both of those ladies in their 80s and me, well never mind that! Perhaps with such good training from those ladies, I manage to worry about many things that are completely beyond my control. Like earthquakes... When
we were children, my oldest brother and I were playing with a big red
ball in our stairwell, throwing it (hard) back and forth, up and down
the stairs. At one point, plaster rumbled out of
the walls and made round holes, where apparently nails were. Dennis and
I were in huge trouble! Playing ball on the stairs was not one of those
things we were allowed to do. We found out later
that there had been a minor earthquake and that had caused the plaster
to crumble. Whew! It didn’t get us out of trouble though. When
I was a new mom, Dana was barely walking and she and the daughter of my
best friend growing up were playing in Dana’s room, while Brenda and I
were in the living room. The bricks around the
fireplace began to crumble and rumble and Brenda and I jumped up and
grabbed each other and held on. Our baby girls didn’t even notice. I
love Reelfoot Lake and am fascinated with the idea that an earthquake
caused the Mississippi River to run backwards, I think for something
like 24 hours, and made the lake. I am also terrified at the thought. During
the ’90s, when some scientist was predicting a major earthquake, one of
the joke precautions here at the office was to throw our bodies over
the computers. All this is just to say that all the horrors of the earthquake in Haiti are not beyond my crepehanging thoughts. It has happened here before. It’s possible again. We will give Haiti all the help our country is famous for -- and pray we don’t need it ourselves anytime soon!
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