| Wyatt’s World By Wyatt Emmerich Nasty virus sweeps Emmerich household I
jinxed myself when I conjectured that I must be immune to the swine
flu. The nasty virus has now made a clean sweep of the Emmerich
household. I was the last of its victims. I may have been the last to fall, but this fact didn’t prevent me from taking the wimpiest flu victim award at 1447 Rebel Dr. I
hate being sick. Lord take me quick, because whatever goodwill I have
built up in my life would quickly dissipate if I ever got a real
disease. Within 12 hours of boasting of my immunity, I awoke to a 103.7 temperature, according to my ear thermometer. Over
the last few weeks, I had been through this drill with each family
member. When the pig flu finally strikes, it strikes with a vengeance.
You’ll know it when it happens. Apparently, there
is a garden variety rhinovirus circulating around the Northside
simultaneous to the swine flu. That creates a lot of confusion about
who has what. When the real deal hits, it’s like a freight train. I
haven’t missed a day of work because of illness in 22 years, when I
last got the flu. Ever since then, I got a flu shot religiously every
year. The shots worked like a charm until the new swine flu strain
arrived two weeks before I could get my hands on a vaccine. Some
words of advice: If you haven’t had the swine flu, get the vaccine.
It’s the biggest cost-benefit ratio of anything in the world. Thirty
minutes of hassle will save you 72 hours of excruciating misery. As
I lay in my bed with a soaring fever, I was acutely aware of the
assault on my body, especially the lungs. Hour by hour, it was harder
to breathe. I propped my body up and prayed. I tried to visualize my
white blood cells mounting a huge counterattack. I was rooting my body
on to win the war. We have no cure for viral
infections, although Tamiflu might have helped me. In the end, it’s you
versus tiny strands of replicating RNA. It’s a humbling realization.
Our lives mean so much to us, but we are as fragile as leaves in the
wind. Within a day, it was clear my body had won
the battle of the lungs. The virus then retreated to my head and neck.
It felt like any minute my head would just explode. I began to worry
about meningitis. I vaguely recalled a doctor telling me once about
doing a spinal tap and hearing the pressure spew out like a punctured
tire. That’s what it felt like. The good news is
that in most cases, the worst is over in a few days and that was true
with me. When the headache went away, I felt like I had won the
lottery. The mere absence of pain was joyful. My
oldest son John got the swine flu the same night I did. With Ginny
working, I was left to cater to him and me. John went through 10 boxes
of tissues in one day. We would just look at each other with misery in
our eyes. Fortunately, the swine flu virus is
quite fragile and dies instantly when exposed to air. It can survive
for hours if contained in a droplet of mucous. Keep washing your hands
and don’t let a flu victim cough in your face. John
and I are still coughing, but I think it’s just because our bodies are
still in a state of red alert, soaking our membranes with
white-blood-cell-containing mucous in case the virus should try to make
a last stand. I am still not full strength after seven days. As
I lay dying, a realization occurred to me. You better say your goodbyes
before you get sick. Once you are in the throes of battle, there is
nothing you can think about other than the fight itself. There is no time for reflection or goodbyes. Wet dreary weather in October, swine flu, worst economy in 70 years. Let’s hope this is the bottom!
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