| The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter Centering holidays around food ensures dieting Americans
are great observers of times and seasons. Beginning with Labor Day,
there is quite a progression of them. You can see the grand sweep as
the displays change in the “seasonal aisle” in stores such as Fred’s,
Wal-Mart, or Target. Most have candy or other food that is featured.
Halloween, of course, is the first. There are both candy and costumes
for Halloween. Then comes Thanksgiving. The delicacies associated with
this day need not be recounted. Christmas,
Hanukah, and Kwanza are over. Each one features good things to eat. The
New Year celebrations are done, and now we have entered into the Great
Season of the Diet. The TV is full of commercials for all the various
spas, gyms, and diet plans. Nutri-System is offering a special deal so
you can lock in their sale price and buy an entire year of their meals,
thus assuring that you will have all these items in non-refundable
quantity before you realize you cannot eat one more of them. (After a
week, they all taste the same, and are loaded with salt!) Even
though the weather is rough, we see people out walking, jogging, and
doing exercise of every sort. How many made New Year’s resolutions to
lose 20 pounds? I guess that when we repeat our “confession of sins” at
church saying, “We have done those things we ought not to have done,
and we have left undone those things we ought to have done,” many in
the congregation are associating the words with food and exercise.
(That is why Lent follows Christmas). Contemplat-ing
all this, I was reminded of my seminary roommate, who was — well, shall
we say, a gentleman of athletic build who had ceased exercising but
still ate the number of calories needed to keep a football lineman up
to speed for peak performance on the gridiron. I
walked in one day to find my friend parked in front of the TV drinking
a can of Metrical and happily munching on a Milky Way bar. When
I questioned this scene, my friend informed me that Metrical was
designed to guarantee its user the loss of 20 pounds within the space
of a month. (Do they even make that stuff any more?) I averred this
might be true, but the plan was that you drank the Metrical and
consumed nothing else. “No Milky Ways?” my roommate asked
incredulously? “No Milky Ways!” I assured him. (It is the first of many
bits of bad news I have had to deliver as a pastor.) Since those days my friend and I have gone our separate ways, and I have no idea how his diets have gone in the past few years. But
I do know my own struggles, and I hope to get through the next few
weeks without any untoward holiday feeds. But Super Bowl Sunday and
Valentine’s Day are just around the corner. It makes me wonder if a
religion could survive that did not center its holidays around food. At
our denominational district office, there used to be all sorts of
pulpits and communion vessels gathered up from old churches that had
closed. It was quite an interesting collection. For
lack of proper storage space, there was even a large pulpit that stood
in the corner of the men’s room! However, if you wanted to build a new
church and be successful, I’d suggest you start with the kitchen. In
fact, come to think of it, as I write this, it is January 6 — the Feast
of the Three Kings! I wonder what the wise men ate? Would anyone care to join me in starting a church oriented toward dietary austerity and physical fitness?
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