| The Preacher’s Corner By Rev. Dr. Milton Winter Getting rid of some old magazines Every
now and then I am shamed into doing what I need to do. Such a moment
came when I ran across a cartoon — I think it was in the New Yorker.
It pictured a man and woman in bed, covered with National Geographics.
The ceiling has collapsed and hundreds of the magazines had spilled
through onto the surprised couple. The indignant wife says to the
husband, “You and your National Geographics!” Since
I have secretly expected a similar calamity at my house, I decided the
time had come to get to work. Either read ’em or pitch ’em! Now,
I am pretty sure several persons reading these lines understand the
urge (or obsession) to collect, or at least accumulate, old magazines
and books — particularly those of “cultural” or “educational” value
such as the Geographic. But my conscience has
ridden me about keeping so many, most of them unread. It vaguely
reminds me of Marley’s ghost in Dickens’ Christmas Carol. The ghost —
Ebenezer Scrooge’s miserly partner in the counting house they had owned
together — was doomed to pull a heavy chain, the links having been
forged by all the avaricious deeds in his life. My “chain” is all these
books and magazines. I inherited the urge and a
large part of my collection from Grandfather Winter, whose huge stack
was in the little room where I slept while visiting the grandfolks in
Memphis, Tenn. as a child. I dearly loved being with my grandparents,
but there was not always a lot for a little boy to do at their house,
so I enjoyed selecting a Geographic and leafing through its pages,
particularly looking at ads for the streamlined trains of the 1940s,
when such things were new. I had a Lionel train
set, and these trains in the Geographic were the “real thing” as
compared to my diminutive favorite toy. I have heard that many a youth
learned the facts of life looking at the pictures of primitive peoples
in the Geographic, but I was not so naïve as that.. When
I was a little older, Mother’s sister, my Aunt Marguerite, began giving
me Geographic subscriptions as a Christmas present, and this continued
for many years until college life distracted my interest. Still,
having inherited my grandfather’s collection, I had a huge set of the
magazines. So, not to be deterred, I began going to yard sales and the
like, scouting out odd issues to fill out my collection, and then as an
adult I subscribed on my own — hence the groaning timbers in my attic! There
are famous paintings by artists in the Norman Rockwell vein who depict
scenes of eager readers peering into old Geographics, amid musty army
uniforms, old family pictures on the odd nail in the wall, and banners
from their days at good ole State U. in cobwebbed upper garrets by the
light of a kerosene lamp. It is said that some
Geographic subscribers actually believe that membership in the society
requires one to keep all their magazines. On
the old Mayberry show, whenever the townspeople would urge Sheriff Andy
to take a few days rest, he would resist but then say, reluctantly,
“Well, maybe I could fish a little and read all those Geographics!” I
do not want to end up like the Chicago woman I once saw on the news
being forcibly moved out of her house by the public health authorities
on a stretcher. She was crying out, “But I was going to get around to
cleaning up the house someday! I was going to do it!” The
Geographic even spoofs itself. A cartoon published in their centennial
anniversary edition shows a feeble old gentleman with shelf after shelf
of the magazines behind his reading chair in his library. He is reading
the newspaper and then warily looks over his shoulder at his
Geographics, greatly discomfited by what he sees. The cause of his
uneasiness is made clear by what the article says: “After their arrest
a search of the premises by FBI agents disclosed a large number of maps
and pictures of vital areas in the nation.” I
don’t want anybody thinking I am sympathetic with al Qaeda either
because I have all these articles and maps about Afghanistan in my
house too! So I have gone through my stacks and selected a few
sentimental favorites, and the rest are set to go. Now,
I am sure there may be some collector out there who cannot bear the
thought of discarding such a trove. But I have neither the energy to
sell them on eBay, nor time to take them to a sale like First Monday. So
here is what I will do. I will hold them for a week in my garage, and
if you’d like to have the set, just contact me and you are welcome to
them. There is no charge. You will be doing me a great favor just by
taking this burden off my conscience!
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