Thursday, October 2, 2008
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Thursday, October 2, 2008 |
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Community | Obits | Editorial & Columnists | Society | Sports | Education | Classified Ads | Calendar of Events | Features | Newsbriefs | Legals | Archives | Subscriptions | Photo Gallery |
| Writer’s Cramp How many catalog ‘hoo-hahs’ annoy you? You probably get various catalogs touting many different “useful” products. You look at them and think about it and wonder if whatever it is really works, as it says. I’m about to tell you about some I’m convinced do not work! They are the hoo-hahs. There are some items that may or do work. They are not hoo-hahs. The tomato (and other plants) bag which puts the roots and potting soil on top and the plant and fruit hanging off the bottom is one example. This device is to keep your tomatoes, cukes, etc. off the ground and swaying in the wind for easy, clean picking. Now, we all know about gravity. You can water from the top til the cows come home but the roots are not going to get adequate water and will probably start growing toward the bottom. Watering will drool water over the crop and rot it. This bag is also heavy and you need an industrial strength shepherd’s crook set in concrete to hold this weight against the wind. Do we need this? This is a hoo-hah! Foot detox patches that adhere to the bottom of the feet supposedly draw toxins from the body. Illustrations show “after” pictures of a brown deposit on the patches after removal from the feet. “You will be amazed to see the residue of toxins that have been eliminated,” they say. I say, wash your feet! Really don’t think “toxins” reside in your feet. This is a hoo-hah! There’s a roll-out keyboard to make learning piano easy! Has all kinds of music features, rhythms, record/playback, built-in sounds and karaoke mike, headphones, CDs. All this with four AA batteries. Hello? Hoo-hah! Expensive over-kill. For $39.98 you get a touch-free stainless steel soap dispenser which, by waving your hand under the spout, dispenses “the right amount” of hand soap, lotion, or hand sanitizer. Has adjustable switch so “just the right amount” is dispensed. Are our pump dispensers so diseased that we dare not touch them? Get real! Hoo-hah! Does work! Stainless steel strips that fit between stove edge and counter edge to prevent spills and particles of food from dropping into the cracks where you can never clean them out. I’ve had these for several years and they do work. Get two for $8.98 -- were cheaper when I bought them. Does work! Tool holder with spring-loaded ball sections that securely hold handles of mops, brooms, etc. In about a two-foot-long strip that does hold mops and brooms without slipping. $7.98. Messy and silly! Similar to a paint-ball gun, this device launches miniature marshmallows up to 20 feet, rapid-fire or one at a time. Use outdoors or in. OK, who’s going to pick up gooey marshmallows out of the grass or use up bags of ice freezing them to pick out of the carpet? This one is a big no-no. Whoooee! Book touts natural remedies to slow or reverse the aging process. Discover ways to relieve arthritis, fatigue, memory loss, wrinkles, cataracts and other age-related conditions. Hate to tell you folks, but all these conditions come with age. Try improved diet, walking and friends to help some of these conditions. Wrinkles come free and cannot be eradicated. They are our map of life. Be proud of them! Takes too much time! Microwave French fry maker. Circular rack with millions of holes into which you insert fresh-cut or frozen French-fries, separate from each other. Put into microwave, zap and out comes fat-free French fries. How about spreading them out on a baking sheet in the oven? None of this poking French-fries into holes for 15 minutes. Hello! Great find! A stainless steel mesh sink strainer which catches bits and pieces from veggies, scraped plates, etc., then wash it down the disposal. It’s amazing the amount of stuff that can go into the disposal that probably would clog the drain. Don’t know how I lived without mine before. I think I have been saved from some plumbing bills. Another great find! Roll-out plastic-coated wire drawers for under-sink storage. Great for short cleaning supplies or food products. Have had mine for several years for under-sink storage and so convenient and contained. Bad deal! Sounds wonderful but doesn’t work per comments on their website and a personal testimony. Crosley Songwriter that supposedly records your old LPs onto CDs and also plays your old LPs on a 3-speed turntable for 33s, 45s and 78 LP (long-playing) vinyl records. Too bad – I could use this but on-line comments and personal testimony by a friend says by-pass this. A real hoo-hah! A waist extender supposedly can add 5 inches to waistbands of jeans, pants and skirts. Have you ever had jeans that would expand more than half an inch? Pants and skirts with elastic waistbands might stretch this far without popping all the seams, but I doubt it. There is a reason for various clothes sizes and stretching five inches ain’t it! Great find! A flexible cloth duster over a plastic insert will dust under the fridge, washer and dryer and other low things on a hard surface. Really works and it’s horrifying what comes out from under appliances. Throw the duster into the washing machine and it is good as new. A do-without. Talking tissue box that makes six different sounds when you pull out a tissue. Sneezes, wheezes and coughs. Do we really need to be subjected to these disgusting sounds? Get a life! Sounds toxic! A wide sheet-like silicone roast lifter, with handles, goes under the roast or turkey while it cooks in the oven so you can lift out the cooked meat when it’s done without burning yourself. This vast sheet of silicone is cooking into your meat or poultry for several hours! Do we really need this additional toxic flavoring? Try using a couple of stout barbecue forks to lift out the meat from the pan – it works! A sweet conclusion – upstanding feather-tail toys for cats – they bat them around and have a wonderful time and you don’t have to entertain them. This is not a hoo-hah! |
      
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