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Close
to Nowhere
By Linda Jones
Gloom, despair and agony on me
If
you’ve seen me the last couple of weeks, you know
I’m limping,
moaning, whimpering and whining.
Why,
you might ask, if you haven’t seen me in a while?
Let
me tell you all about it. The longer I talk, the longer I can stay
away from the source of my pain and agony.
It’s
really all Pop’s fault. (Isn’t it always
“their” fault?) We’d been
having a “discussion” about housework, or the lack
of, and as usual, he
went off in one direction laughing at me and I went off in the other
direction, mad as a wet hen.
Later,
to soothe my poor ole wet feathers, Pop made a suggestion that
he thought would make me happy. Actually, it did make me happy
— made
me ecstatic, in fact.
It’s
just the process of putting his great idea into action that hurts.
A lot!
Pop
just idly wondered why we (meaning me) didn’t move the stuff
from
our really big bedroom into the much smaller sewing room and move my
sewing room into the much, much bigger bedroom.
I’m
pretty sure my mouth dropped open. That thought had never occurred
to me before. I had often talked of closing the carport in and making
me a new, bigger bedroom, but — just swapping rooms? Seemed
way too
simple. There had to be a flaw somewhere.
Normally,
I jump right up and fly right into whatever — that instant
gratification thing. I rarely stop and actually think before embarking
on many brilliant ideas.
This
time, I did stop — I measured and remeasured all the
furniture
(especially the California king-sized bed). The measurements all seemed
to work. That surely meant I was doing something wrong!
After
consulting with boon companion Jane, and getting her positive
input, the idea was put “on go!”
The
bedroom stuff, that was formerly in a 24ish by 24ish room, now is
comfortably installed in an 11ish by 11ish, newly painted room on
freshly shampooed carpet and it all fits just fine.
I’m
wondering though, if I’m ever gonna get all the stuff that
was in
the 11ish by 11ish room into the 24somethingish room. At this point in
time, fabric and gadgets and my cutting table and more fabric and more
gadgets, have overflowed into the living room and various and other
assorted nooks and crannies in the house.
I’m
not sure how I’m going to get it all in the new room. And
I’m
really, really wondering how I had it all in the old room.
I’ve
done nearly all this work myself the last couple of weeks. I
started the day after Thanksgiving and have to finish before we can put
a Christmas tree up.
The
biggest problem now seems to be that I’m broken.
And not
just in half — in many places.
“Gloom,
despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive
misery.”
My
new theme song...
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