Thursday, February 23, 2006

Close to Nowhere
By Linda Jones


First, just let me say, it wasn’t related to the ice and slush.

Friday morning, before any of the bad weather even began, I must have decided I was bored or something — needed a bit of excitement maybe...

I’d cranked the car earlier, so it would be warm and toasty when my granddaughters and I piled in to head to school and work.

Both the girls were already stashed safely in the back seat and I was rushing down the back stairs because “they” had made us run a little late.

That’s apparently when I decided to fling myself off the steps and onto the concrete carport floor. Not satisfied to land on ‘just’ the concrete, I managed to twist my flailing body around until I could drape myself over some cardboard boxes filled with mugs and assorted other glassware and stuff that my brother had kindly brought for us to sell at our church yard sale this spring.

My first, second and probably third thoughts can’t be repeated here! One of my latter thoughts was surprise that none of the heavy glass mugs had broken and cut my arm or various other body parts off. One of the thoughts after that was of the editor. Barry, just before moving here, fell out of his attic and severely injured his hip. I kept thinking that now, I knew how he felt.

Both my granddaughters had jumped out of the car at my sudden disappearance from their line of sight and were excitedly asking was I “all right.” Once again, my thoughts cannot be repeated in a family newspaper!

However, instead of telling them to go get their grandfather and have him drive them to school while I lay draped across the boxes on the concrete, what did I do?

Naturally, I “jumped” up (I use the term “jump” very loosely!); got in the car and drove the girls to school and me on to work.

About halfway to town, I began to think again and realized that maybe, I should still be home lying on the boxes instead of anything else.

After I’d been at work an hour or so, I was pretty sure I needed to be at home as I was becoming fairly stiff and sore.

So once again, my common sense leaves me and after lunch, instead of heading home like a normal “battered and bruised” person, I went to the grocery store.

It was supposed to rain and sleet and ice Friday. Naturally, we didn’t have any bread or milk.

So, after a quick stop to get the bread and milk (and a few other essentials including banana split ice cream), I was in pain!

Needless to say, I spent the weekend huddled on the couch listening to “I told you so!”

And Monday — right back to work of course...

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